Need to organize and clear my mind.

A few things I need to get off my chest:

1) I was truly unhappy about being elected as leader for short semester. Truly. I did not want any responsibility and nao that I have it, I feel this immense pressure to do well even when I have no confidence in myself, whatsoever. I honestly think that I fail as a leader and I am not good enough. It's difficult for me to achieve an A let alone lead a group into that direction and having them expect me to lead them towards passing with flying colours. I don't know if I can do it and I apologize in advance if your grades are not to your liking or do not satisfy you. I can promise you that I will be trying my very best and I hope whatever I do is enough.



2) I am amazingly neutral about my results, despite the fact that my CGPA dropped by 0.1 ... someone decided to share a small part of the SABD handbook on our group on FB (for whart ridiculous reason, purpose or intention, I have no idea) but if I were to graduate tomorrow, I would at least be graduating as a second upper class graduate, but by the very skin of my teeth, no doubt about that. I think I should just maintain good grades, keep trying for that 3.5, even though it seems to be a near to impossible task for me.

3) I will try my best to be better in my studies next semester, I promise. I know I will find the drive and motivation to do so after my holidays. I just can't convince myself that I will be better and stronger at this very moment. Give me some time. I need rest. Seriously.

4) Next year onwards, I will refocus. I will not listen to negative remarks that will only take me off course and off my game. I will not compare myself to others but I will only focus on improving on myself. Never too old to learn new tricks!

5) Next year onwards, I will make more effort to learn new things. I will try not to cheat my way through my work. I will make an effort to accept and listen to others' opinions and ask for help when I need it. I will ask people about things I do not know and I will not be ashamed of it. I will learn to admit when I am wrong or when I am incapable of finishing a task. I will not be affected by people who immediately judge me based on my personality, looks or actions. I will forgive and forget.

6) Next year onwards, I will be less pessimistic, punctual and learn to be more humble.

7) I will commit to you, my studies and my goals.

8) I will mentally prepare myself for working as an intern in 2013.

9) In my attempt to make myself feel better, I am teaching myself to look at things at a different perspective, starting with my results. Even though my grades are merely average this semester, I have to point out that my group of friends and I DID do A LOT for last sem, and most of them did WAY WAY WAY better than me + had curricular activities that they could proudly add onto their portfolio! So I'm proud to say that we are a pretty awesome group of students. We're not the "by-the-book" type, which many have mentioned is not whart you want to be when branching out into the real world of work. I mean c'mon, my grades are pretty okay AND I did juggle 2 awesome installations during sem4. Gotta give me (and my fellow friends) props for that yo. AND we appeared in the newspapers! That's something to be proud of right? Haha.

10) I need a new look for 2012. Dual tone hair and more piercings? Hahaha.